Lately I have been experimenting with not thinking, not analyzing and not judging. This is my way of being in the moment. I remember a couple of years ago in a moment of clarity, I finally realized that I have never experienced anything in my life. Things have happened to me all my life but I’ve managed to avoid directly experiencing those events. Instead I have an internal dialogue that tells me how I should feel about what’s happening. I have settled for this re-interpreting commentary so that I can avoid experiencing anything and risk feeling bad. When I finally become present to that truth I have crossed over the threshold. Once I knew that that is what’s happening internally I cannot un-know it ever again. It took many many more moons until I could remember that I have a choice to either settle for this internal dialogue or be brave enough to take each experience as it comes. This thinking, analyzing, judging layer has protected me from pain but it has also prevented me from getting to know who I am. Who I am is not the pain nor the believes that cause the pain. It is the commitment to get to know what I am and who I am that make all other choices pale by comparison. This is me being in the moment connected to the me that needs no thinking, analyzing nor judging.
